feels like soup today

i want to drink in the trees
swim on the rocks
eat sand and shovel
back the horses trying to stampede.

i want to pillage those
painstaking hearts
of these painstaking todays
and throw back the ones
that don't fit into my chest.

i want to remember what
feeling is and i want
to remember what feeling
feels like.

i want to remember what
feeling is because i want
to know why i'm feeling
this so much.

i want this because i want
to know why not feeling
makes me feel sad
but what does sad feel like?